Hello.
My name is Chris, and 5 weeks ago my life changed completely with the birth of my son Leonard. All of a sudden I turned from an unmotivated boy to a time efficient, full grown man. It is still funny to think I am now a member of the dads club. When I think about what that means it leads me to an overwhelming sense of responsibility and a desire to provide my son with the best start I can.
Throughout the ante-natal period I felt quite alone, and struggled with my mental health. My feelings towards my unborn son, and desire to be involved fully were sometimes met with odd looks and unkind comments. From very early on my wife and I agreed I would take additional paternity leave after 6 months to have a bit more time with the boy. This seemed to some people to be an unfathomable concept. As a dad it feels with some parties there is an expectation you will be as hands off as possible, wetting the babies head at the earliest possible opportunity and leaving your beloved wife to raise your child whilst you spend all your time doing Dad things. I began to question if, my desire to be as involved in possible was strange. I began to lose confidence. I became quite ill. But now, I see that I am not weird or odd, and its perfectly natural to feel like this. I don't want any other Father to feel like I did during this period.
Thankfully the Midwives and Health Visitors were a bit more forward thinking, and I felt very much involved in the ante natal and post natal care of Leonard. The NHS ante natal classes were inclusive, and helped re-enforce my feelings and desires to be as involved as possible as normal.
During the post natal period I began to look about to see if there were any support groups similar to the ones my wife was getting involved in, for dads. She always seemed to be picking up bits of information from other mums and has even made a few new friends thanks to these interactions. It seems that there is a distinct lack of support networks for Dads out there. So I am trying to set one up here. I know it might take time and a lot of effort but we must ensure Dads too feel fully equipped to be as involved as they want to in the upbringing of their child, and that they are not made to feel isolated or odd for feeling this way.
My goals of the group are to:
* Provide a support network between fathers where we can share concerns and issues in a safe place.
* Support each other through the sharing of information and experiences.
* Positively enforce the role of the Dad in the family unit.
* Provide a base for organising social events to meet other dads in an informal and relaxed way.
If you are interested you can find our facebook group at:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/831139230240243/
Or alternatively email me on:
harrogatedadsclub@gmail.com
Because Dads matter too.
Chris
PS: Thanks to my lovely wife for all she went through to bring our little man into the world and for supporting me throughout despite having enough to worry about for herself.
Love you. x
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